Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.

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(831): View more from California

maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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(512): View more from Texas

I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.

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(503): View more from Oregon

You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

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(512): View more from Texas

Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.

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(224): View more from Illinois

She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would

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