there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
