nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
