this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
