I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sorry about my life...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
