ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
