I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
