I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
