he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
