I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
