Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
