I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize