Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
