Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
