I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
