So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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