one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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