Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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