she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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