are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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