Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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