absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
