She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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