she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
wow bdsm is so cute
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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