Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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