I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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