I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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