Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
