You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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