What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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