bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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