Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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