you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
