I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
