You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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