currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
