Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
