all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
