You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
