i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
