I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
