just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize