she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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