You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
