dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
