remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
