Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
