if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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