Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
