I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
