i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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