i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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