She's JV to your varsity
You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
