sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize