I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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