Is it normal to miss your booty call?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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