Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize