yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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