: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
