She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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