The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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