he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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