Sry I called you an 8
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You have to summon your inner elephant
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
