I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
