Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
