Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
